Toddler behaviour: Sometimes it’s a no, sometimes let it go.
As a parent of a three year old, I find myself in very ridiculous arguments with a tiny person more often than I would care to admit. Why am I engaging in an argument about why she can’t have ice cream for breakfast? Or why we are not turning around 20 minutes into the 25 minute journey to go back for teddy. These are examples of ‘sometimes it’s just a no.’ It will never be ok to have ice cream for breakfast (with the exception of recovery from dental surgery), so don’t engage in the argument, the answer is one word, no.
Sometimes though, it’s not actually a battle you need to pick, then you should consider ‘sometimes let it go’ For example, it’s mid winter here in Saskatchewan and lately my three year old only wants to wear a striped pink tank top. No sweater or long sleeve shirt over top, just the tank top. Oh and her new watch. While an adorable combo, it’s not a great choice for winter attire. However, she is putting her jacket on to go outside (that would be a non negotiable) and it’s actually quite warm inside (thank you well insulated Canadian housing with good heating systems), so this is a battle I’m leaving for now.
Of course while not your only options in response to ridiculous toddler requests, this little saying might be something to keep in mind the next time your toddler throws a curveball at you while your trying to do something important, like get out the door in the morning.
Its time for a mid-month muffin tip! Muffins are incredible. For some reason, it is totally acceptable to eat a muffin at any time of day. They can be sweet or savoury and transition from breakfast to desert with the addition or subtraction of just a few ingredients.
However, muffins can be tricky and range in healthiness from basically a cupcake to a fruity, seedy wonderland. My personal muffin making career has had its ups and downs. I have tried very healthy muffins with very little sugar, basically inedible, and cupcake like muffins too sweet for any time of day except dessert. And so, let’s get to the ‘tip’ part of this email.
I have found an amazing website with the most amazing muffin recipe. These Blueberry Oat Muffins are whole wheat, but still have some sugar and flavour. They are moist and still taste good the next day. I am so excited to not only have found this recipe, but this website. Bake Eat Repeat is an amazing source of family recipes, but particularly for really good muffin recipes. We have also tried Pumpkin Oatmeal Muffins and Chocolate Chip Banana Oatmeal Muffins and both were excellent.
Thank you Bake Eat Repeat, you have changed my muffin world.
For some reason the holiday season, despite being at the same predictable time every year, does seem to sneak up on us. As parents there is lots to think about including gifts, travel plans and of course, food. Everybody wants to eat well, which means someone is responsible for planning, prepping and cooking. When it comes to Christmas Day in our house, I like to prepare as much as I can before, so that I can spend more time relaxing and enjoying the day. One dish we have made the last few years is an overnight French Toast. You prepare totally the day before, leave to sit in the fridge overnight, and then throw it in the oven on the day. We have it with ham and fruits for brunch/lunch. My favourite recipe comes from the ladies of The Sweet Potato Chronicles and it is delish. You can find it here.
One of our favourite recipe books
Set up Manageable Traditions
While your kids are young you have the chance to set up traditions that will become special for all of you, and potentially pass down through your family. I’m sure you already have traditions that are important to you from your childhood. Along with the sentimental value they bring to the season, traditions also provide you some anchors which to plan from. Since they are the same from year to year, traditions require minimal decision making and are easy to involve the family in helping with. However, it might also be a good idea to stop and reflect. Make sure you are doing traditions because they are important and special to you, not because it’s the way it’s always been done. Maybe some traditions can be adapted for modern times, or simplified to be a little less preparation and a little more enjoyable. Including important traditions, which do not create an unmanageable workload, will result in fond memories for everyone, not memories of a stressed out parent trying to do everything.
One of our recent traditions- Liv’s Snow Globe gets set up at the centre of the table.
Patience and Deep Breaths
The holidays can be an extremely exciting time for little ones. There are late nights, lots of sugar, lots of different family members and of course, gifts. Sometimes, this can be a lot of stimulation for children to manage and they might need some extra help and patience managing their emotions. They might need some extra hugs and deep breathing together, or chances to relax away from the action. Take some deep breaths yourself when you need it and try to read their cues for when they need your help. Last Christmas, for some reason I entered into a huge battle with my four year old over finishing her broccoli. That was not a wise parenting move. Keep your expectations for their behaviour reasonable considering their age and the context.
Welcome to November! As I looked around my room and contemplated what to write about this month, I noticed two items that were basically screaming a theme at me.
The irony is not lost on me that both of these items do not actually simplify things at all. The decorative pillow serves no purpose at all except to look nice, and reminds me to ‘simplify’ things as I continue to complicate making my bed by taking it on and off my bed each day. The circle sign is part of a set of three signs that look really nice, but were in fact not ‘simple’ to put up in an aesthetically pleasing way.
However, they do inspire me regularly to consider ways to simplify my life. Here are three ways you can make a difference and simplify things right now.
1. Implement a new system
Is there something in your home that is causing you stress or chaos, that you could simplify by implementing a new system.? For example, do you regularly lose your keys? Is every morning stressful because nobody knows what to pack for school lunches? Do you dread coming home because you don’t know what to make for supper? Choose one thing and put in place a new system. Systems work when they are simple, easy to do and you make it part of routine every day. If you always lose your keys, start putting them in the same place every time. If you need to simplify lunches, start repeating things so you don’t have to keep thinking of new things, kids often don’t need as much variety as we think. If you never seem to know what to eat for the evening meal, start a ritual of planning the week’s meal on a meal planning template every Sunday. Whatever it is, pick one simple thing that causes you stress and simplify it.
2. Prepare for the next day the night before
It takes minimal time and effort to do a few things to prepare for the next day the night before, and can make a world of difference in the chaos of the morning. One thing I do is get out my whole outfit, right down to the shoes. This avoids situations such as trying to find the matching shoe when you are rushing to get out the door, or trying to figure out what would look good together while you are trying to find clean underpants for your child. Give it a go, you might be surprised by the impact such a simple change can have.
3. Help your kids do something new-without you!
There is nothing more efficient than having everyone in the family complete tasks at their level that contribute to a common goal, such as getting out the door in the morning. Usually it doesn’t come together quite as planned, but one step you can take to simplify your life, is to take something off of your plate, and put it on to your children’s plate. Often, we don’t notice that they are ready to do something independently and continue to do it for them long after we need to. So, consider something that your child might be able to do without your help, teach/guide them through how to do it, and then make it an expectation. Something we are working on right now is everyone unpacking their lunch kits and putting their backpacks away as soon as we get home. This avoids stinky lunch kits in the morning and a mountain of backpacks in the doorway for the next unsuspecting entrant at the door to trip over.
There you have it folks, three ways you might choose to simplify right now. I’d love to hear your ideas of how you simplify things, comment below or share with the community here.
Until next month, remember to be someone’s wing-person and to reach out to your own wing-people when you need them. Happy parenting.
Welcome! This blog is inspired by my book: The Mom Wing-Woman. This may seem a little backwards, starting a blog after writing a book, but to be honest the whole process of developing The Mom Wing-Woman as a book and a concept has been a little unexpected. The book, The Mom Wing-Woman: A Supportive Book for New Moms was born out of a vision I have to contribute to creating communities which support and empower new moms. I wrote the book while I was on maternity leave with my third child, as I was thinking about all of the things that were helpful, and the things that were not so helpful for me as a mom of a newborn.
